K so I’ve been composing this entry for quite some time out of various babbling, and will probably post more of these at some point but really every time I’ve said that, I’ve just abandoned the blog for long periods of time so whatever.
Some of these are words made of Scrabble gibberish that I wished were words because they would have given me a lot of points. Others were medical terms my Kentuckian Canasian friend told me to re-define. For a couple of those, I gave the real definition but I was too lazy for most of them.
This also lead to a whole branch of thinking known as Hippo Physics, which a part of The Science, which a whole ‘nother post that I need to post when posting becomes a thing I do more.
Which is likely never.
Again, oops. So uh yeah.
DICTIONARIOUS WORDINGS!
Adenohypophysis: interjection. A common misspelling of the oft-used phrase when discussing the non-knowledge of large mammals and their natural kinetics and behavior.
“What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen hippo?” “No idea. Adenohypophysis.”
Haversian systems: n. 1) Haversian systems: In ancient times, the third joke ever invented went like this, as told by the friend of a man named Haver. “Hi, I’m Throk.” “Hi, I’m Haver.” “Haver?! I barely know ‘er!” They laughed for six generations, and the cause of the laughter was forgotten. The last generation of laughing folk decided that a god must have given them this joy, and they started a religion, and became Haversians. Haversianism was a somewhat small religion, and eventually dwindled until all that were left were a few lonely Haversian computer programmers. They uploaded their consciousness into robots, and multiplied, becoming an entire fleet of Haversian systems.
“Hey, maybe we can tell a joke like “Haver?! I barely know ‘er!” or something.” “No, that would offend the Haversian systems.”
Haversian systems: n. 2) Veins that run vertically in bone.
Integument: A French loanword, originally the masculine plural form of the french verb integumer, meaning “to be inside an eraser”. This is a very common phrase amongst the people of Gomme-Grande in the south of France, and led to the usage of the phrase on a wider scale, even as an English word.
“Well, they couldn’t find a house that wasn’t made of rubber, so now they integument.”
Jejunum: interjection. Used to break the news to a person named Junum, as Junum is rather unlucky.
Person 1: “Jejunum, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that steak you ate was your uncle Harry.”
Junum: “I KNEW IT!”
Jejunum: n. The middle section of the small intestine in most higher vertebrates, including mammals, reptiles, and birds.
Doctor 1: “Jejunum, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that steak you ate is lodged pretty tight in your jejunum.”
Junum: “I KNEW IT!”
Jivid: adj. 1) portmanteau, joyfully livid – When someone is happy to be angry.
“Ah, I haven’t gotten mad in a while, it makes me kinda jivid.”
Jivid: adj. 2) portmanteau, jokingly livid – When someone pretends to be angry as a joke.
“Haha, don’t worry, I’m not mad, I’m jivid.”
Jivid: n. 3) a military term for strategically provoking an attack.
“We’re planning a jivid, so we know where their cavalry is hiding.”
Keratin: n. A diluted form of kermitin, an illegal frog powder used for a hallucinogen. Users often see vain pig women and old men sitting a balcony and breaking the fourth wall.
“It’s not easy being greeeeeeeeeeeeen!” “What’s wrong with that guy?” “He took a bunch of keratin.”
Kinase: n. portmanteau, kinetic tease – A scientific principle that occurs when you throw something and you expect it to move but it doesn’t.
“The ping pong tournament was disrupted when the ball was hit and kinase caused it to hover in mid-air rather than flying away.”
Lacunae: v. A scottish phrase which roughly translates to “Lack you not.” Faded from use for a few hundred years, but regained popularity after Gentleman PPT’s hip hop song, Lacunae Me topped music charts.
“You will fight the dragon, lacunae courage.”
Mezzocolon: n. Sort of a jerk.
“Well, I ate all of the pie, but I left her a cupcake in its place.” “Wow, you’re such a mezzocolon.”
Periosteum: n. An intergalactically-renowned museum devoted entirely to periscopes. They considered “Periseum” but it was already copyrighted by Duncan G. Periseum who owns a chain of restaurants in the midwest. So they added an O as well as a T just to be safe.
Quekogh: n. Derived from onomatopeia. The sound a car makes when it crashes. –
“That car crash must have been huge, I heard the quekogh from miles away!”
Quizsad: adj. Disappointed at the result of a test.
“How did you do?” “I’m quizsad, I only got a fifty three.”
Supreme: v. To do well at something.
“How did you do?” “I supremed at it! Fifty THREE!” “Awesome!”
Tyrosine: n. A measurement used by cheddonomers to categorize cheese of the flat, triangular variety. From the tastiest angle, one measures the opposite length over the adjacent over age to the power of deliciousness.
“Say, tell me about that cheese.” “Well it’s 1.29 delicis in tastiness, 3 years old, and the tastiest angle is 65 degrees, so the tyrosine is 0.2196.” “Fascinating!”
Tyrosine Kinase: n. When one expects cheese to be a certain age, deliciousness and size, but through some scientific fluke, it is not. This is considered to be the worst problem for cheddonomers.
“Wait… the tyrosine is 0.2196… but there is a slight tyrosine kinase causing deliciousness to fluctuate.” “Still fascinating!”
That is all.
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