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Time Travel Week: Secrets of the Titanic

BONGGGGGG(“Dawn” and “192” loosely translating to “Almost the Day After” and “169”)

Today marked the beginning of TIME TRAVEL WEEK 2011, and as such, I watched V for Vendetta earlier! Wait, no. That’s not right. That was another thing.

But it is Time Travel Week! And I got right to ignoring my schedule by watching an episode of Quantum Leap two days before I said I was going to. It was a run-of-the-mill episode that I might talk about later.

I also watched Back to the Future, and noticed a few things I never did before:

1) Knick knack foreshadowing

In the opening scene with all of Doc Brown’s little inventions and clocks, I noted this little man hanging off a clock in the opening scene.

Worst job ever??? Probably.

Looks sorta familiar after you’ve seen the whole movie.

2) Huey doesn’t like listening to his songs with distorted guitar solos on them.

My mom pointed out a cameo I didn’t realize before. To clarify, the theme to Back to the Future is “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News.

And this is Huey Lewis:

With the news apparently being a sale on extra large glasses at Lenscrafters.

3) There’s an entire subplot about the Titanic.

Biff’s gang includes a guy in 3D glasses, someone who thinks fingerless gloves look menacing, and… Billy Zane???

Scarred by the manure incident, he would later don a purple suit and call himself the Phantom.

That’s right. Caledon Hockley, of getting-spit-on-by-Kate-Winslet fame, goes by the name “Match” in Back to the Future, and given that this is a movie about time travel, I’m pretty sure that makes it canon to assume they’re the same character.

That means that some time after the events of Nov. 12th, 1955, Match found his own time machine and a made a good life for himself pretending to be the son of an oil tycoon. He likely used some future technology to accomplish this, possibly “inventing” cellophane or the zeppelin.

But why get on the Titanic when he knew it was going to sink? That is the question, isn’t it?

Well, if you’re wondering, I’d like to refer you to the guys he hangs out with. Seriously study that picture again. Do you think a guy like that is liable to know anything about history? He probably took a lightbulb back and tried to act like he invented that. Or fingerless gloves.

Now, this may not be the first Titanic time travel theory I’ve come up with, but I think it’s clear that the evidence is there. And so, while we’re entertaining wild accusations and theories, let’s look at my last point I noticed:

4) What is Doc doing with those clocks?

At the beginning of the movie, Doc mentions that “his experiment worked” and all his clocks are 25 minutes slow. This is really just in the movie to give us the scene with Marty getting yelled at by his shiny-headed pathologically deprecating principal, but it made me wonder: with Doc researching time travel, what did he do to all those clocks?

Then I realized a potential twist that the sequels sadly never used, but really, really should have: The house is a time machine. It probably has something similar to the Silver Snail, a comic book store in Toronto:

Dear friends with too much time/money, I want.

It’s maybe not in the exact same vein as the Delorean, as a house (or comic book store) vanishing in flames and reappearing covered in frost would be kinda conspicuous(ly awesome), but still! These buildings can TIME TRAVEL. Again, completely canon.

Anyway, tomorrow I’m watching Parts II and III of Back to the Future, and probably going to end up blabbering about the mechanics of time travel as a result.

But for now,

That is all.

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