Benim Şapkam Karamkaşık!
"Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time."


Veefen: v. To take on the attributes of an adjective, so as to become the personification of that adjective in a person’s mind. Albert Einstein, for example, has veefened genius.

“He veefened generous when he loaned me his personal plane so I could impress a date.”

Another one from the weird meerkat poem that I had to essentially destroy grammar to define properly.

Also I’m enjoying that you can just write these posts and say “hey publish this five days from now” because it allows me to be future-lazy and write the last few posts all on Jan. 3rd rather than today. Your today, not my today. In my today, I’m off to Netflix. In your today, I’m probably off to sleep cause I have school in the morning. Sucks to be you, your-today-me!

That is all.


Without further ado, let’s explain the following sentence from my strange acne meerkat poem: “The panqham that complained had gone away.”

Panqham (PANG-kem): n. Piece of consciousness.
    “Do you have one of those uh… whatchacallit… uh… my literate panqham is apparently in a coma.”

There’s probably another word for this, but I don’t know what it is so I’m going with panqham. Basically it’s the concept of a multiple personality without the complete separation. But I’d say, most of the time, you could take a panqham out of a person and use it as a character in a story, and it would be pretty fully formed.

That is all.


Bhi: adj. Unmistakably clear where it was previously unclear.

“There’s a continuity error in Star Wars where a piece of garbage vanishes and reappears on Luke’s head between shots. Since I noticed, it’s bhi every time I watch it.”

First off, that example sentence is completely true. An alternate example would be the arrow in the Fed Ex sign, or one of those illusions where it’s a young woman one way and an old woman the other, or the two politicians yelling at each other on the Canadian flag. A bhi thing is something you completely cannot unsee.

Second, this is one of those words from the poem in the line, “And pougivies, he noted, were bhi and vast.” ‘Cause those were some extremely clear pougivies apparently?

That is all.


Wockyearn: v. To figure out a word by using it in a sentence.

“Can you wockyearn “cantankerous” for me?” “What?” “It means to use it in a sentence so I can figure it out.” “Can you wockyearn “wockyearn” for me?” “No, that would be loopid.”

This one’s not on the Scrabble board, but it is connected to it in a way. When I was writing this list of definitions, there were some words I just couldn’t work out a definition for, so instead, I decided to use them in a sentence, without knowing their meaning, and sort of… define them backwards.

I was thinking about Jabberwocky when I did it (hence the obvious portmanteau of wocky and learn), as there are many words in that poem which have obvious meaning, but are still invented words (ie. frumious, brillig, etc.). So what I did was I wrote a little sonnet…

O hear a tale, ’tis of a meerkat, Zit.
For hating names, his name was quite the best.
He loathed it quite, and yorvled every bit.
That awful Z, the I, and all the rest.

But soon, he felt a gilg within him rise.
The panqham that complained had gone away
A pride for name did grow to veefen wise.
The cts, the yorveling, were naught today.

And pougivies, he noted, were bhi and vast.
The name he had been given now seemed grand.
He knew not why the change had come so fast.
So on that zect, he pondered, head in hand

The answer, Zit discerned, was that, alas,
He’d met a porcupine named Assigass.

Poor porcupine. Anyway, I’m sure that is nonsense to you, as it was to me, but I forced myself to derive meaning from it where there clearly was none (also known as “literary analysis”). For instance, I looked at the verb “to yorvle” and saw how it was used. I had said he loathed his name, and then added that he yorvled it as well, so it couldn’t mean “hate” or anything like that. So I chose a different definition that still made sense – that he obsessed over it, namely the smallest details of it (The Z itself, the I itself, etc.) and thus:

Yorvle: v. To brood and obsess over tiny and often unchangeable details.
       “I have to make sure all these lines are straight before I send this out for printing.” “Come on, stop yorvling and send it already!”

Anyway, the rest of the words in this poem will be defined in the next couple weeks, so until then,

That is all.


Juxaw: interjection. Means “Oh, how happy I am in the universe where I did not just do that. I might just build a portal to get there and kill alternate universe me out of spite and take other-my place. That stupid alternate universe jerk.” Often used when one stubs their toe.

“Just so you know, you sent My_Supervisor_Totally_Looks_Like_This_Elderly_Pug.jpg  to the entire company.” “…well, juxaw.”

This one’s pretty much just a truncated version of the way I think, taking alternate universe ramblings and irrational anger and distilling it into a single five letter word. It also sounds a lot like jigsaw but that’s really not important, as I apparently went a completely different direction while defining it.

Actually, this one was relevant today cause I bought a cord to hook my laptop up to my television but it was the wrong frigging chord and all I could think was… juxaw.

Okay, now I’m going to go watch Quantum Leap probably.

That is all.

Loopid: adj. 1) pertaining to exact repetition. “I’m really really happy that my happiness is real” is merely repetitive. “You’re such a jerk that you’re such a jerk” is loopid.

    “If I keep repeating myself, the next few words I say will be about the fact that if I keep repeating myself, the next few words I say will be about the fact that if I keep repeating myself, the next few words I say–” “Just… take a breath. The loopidity of that sentence might make you explode.”

Loopid: adj. 2) The quality of a song that makes listeners wish to replay it.

    “Why is this playlist just the Hamster Dance on repeat?” “What can I say? It’s an extremely loopid song.”

Loopid: adj. 3) A loopid song or album is book-ended. An extremely loopid album can be played on repeat without breaking the flow of the music.

    “Viva La Vida is a loopid album, beginning and ending with the melody of The Escapist.”

I really don’t know what else to say here other than that I usually like loopid albums?? Also I feel that that’s a giant enough definition to fill this post. So…


That is all???



Brontle: v. To be about to do something for a long period of time but never quite getting around to it, despite having no convictions against the idea.

As in, “I’ve been brontling over starting a pretzel farm.”

This is one that pretty much needed to be a word as it describes many of my projects’ statuses. At any given time, I’m brontling over twelve to seventy ideas that may or may not ever come to fruition. Learning another language? Brontled. Write an entire essay in iambic pentameter? Brontled. Starting up a pretzel farm is not a brontled idea… yet.

But the real reason I chose this one is because I used in a sentence today and the person I was talking to didn’t even question it. I was all like, “Yeah, we’ve just been brontling over going there, and haven’t done it. No real reason why.” Which makes it essentially Oxford canon, in my mind.

This is how dictionaries get WRIT, people.

That is all.


Sometimes I make up words.

The other night, I made up a lot of them, by finding a just-started Scrabble game and drawing tiles seven at a time and placing them as if they were real words.

This is the type of thing that my life is, apparently.

I’ve already written definitions for all of these, and I’m probably going to post them one or two at a time if only to force myself to post something. Something nigh-meaningless but something nonetheless.

Or I’ll get bored and just zow it.

I bet you’re wondering what that means?????? Well, you’re in luck because today’s word is…


Bontaco: adj. (often used as interjection). Indicates culinary satisfaction and expectations met. Roughly means “This food is exactly as delicious as I was expecting, which is pretty delicious indeed!”

Example sentence, and put in the context of today, “Those seven Red Lobster buns were simply bontaco.” 

In retrospect, it would have made more sense for it to be zow. Huh.


That is all.


I was on Netflix yesterday and stumbled through some of my recently watched and noticed some of the reviews. I started writing one but then realized it was way too long for Netflix, so I brought it here instead.

So let me just say that I loved Heroes. I caught up to the weekly episodes on episode sixteen and watched it every Monday after that. Every episode, I was excited to see what would happen next, and as a week-to-week show, it was excellent.

Looking back though, I’m a bit disappointed. Resolutions were always too easy, certain character deaths were pointless and there was some Recurring Character Syndrome at the heart of that.

In this blog post, I’m going to rant about that. AT LENGTH. I even cut a massive ol’ thing about time travel, and this post is still gigantic.

Read the rest of this entry »

BONGGGGGG(“Dawn” and “192” loosely translating to “Almost the Day After” and “169”)

Today marked the beginning of TIME TRAVEL WEEK 2011, and as such, I watched V for Vendetta earlier! Wait, no. That’s not right. That was another thing.

But it is Time Travel Week! And I got right to ignoring my schedule by watching an episode of Quantum Leap two days before I said I was going to. It was a run-of-the-mill episode that I might talk about later.

I also watched Back to the Future, and noticed a few things I never did before: Read the rest of this entry »